gotta-bee-down-my-neck

2012-03-26 21:03:46′, ‘2012-03-27 01:03:46’,

I was spending time alone at the cabin doing my thing when I decided to eat the last piece of chicken from my cooler. So I took that good looking chicken and went next to the creek to eat it.   I was pulling pieces of skin off and throwing them to the hungry fishes. When suddenly a bee flew into my collar and got stuck there, buzzing next to my skin. It hadn’t stung me yet but I knew a sting was imminent if the bee felt threatened.   I tried not to panic and used my floppy hat to try to brush it out from my neck. I failed. I started doing the funky dance which consisted of lots of shaking my shoulders and twisting my body while arching my back to give room for the bee to fly free. This succeeded in getting the bee to fall further down inside my shirt. The bee was happily buzzing around in my shirt which was not helping me to relax. I decided to keep dancing. While continuing this enthusiastic funky dance, I dropped my yummy piece of chicken which rolled down and dropped into the creek. The bee was still buzzing in my shirt but since I now had two hands free, I carefully unbuttoned my shirt while trying not to pinch the bee against my back which might lead to stinging which would thusly make my solo woods dance meaningless. By thrusting my shoulders back and arcing my back I released the shirt from my manly torso and the bee flew off into the wilderness without her stinger fulfilling the purpose that nature created for it.   My communion with nature was now complete but I was still hungry and my last piece of chicken was now at the bottom of the creek. I could see it down there and I think my dance had scared off the fish. Not enough time had passed for the crawdads or turtles to go after it. So I took my shoes off and rescued my chicken. It looked clean and I shook the water off of it. I ate it. It was good. I didn’t get sick. Dumb bees.

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